The Philowhosit Stone
by Blues32
Summary: AU Reverse World story! After yet another failure at her search for a cure, Terra decides to acquire the legendary Philosopher Stone to change her stone skin to just...skin. Unfortunately, the stone is kept in a rather unique world apart from hers.
1. Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER

DISCLAIMER.

I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, there would be a season six. Teen Titans belong to DC Comics. I hold no claim over ANYTHING in this story that could provide money…because if I did, I wouldn't need to get up at four thirty in the morning. It occurred to me that since the normal Titans have a pet, the HIVE should try and get one too. Also, I wanted to continue with Terra's attempt to get cured. That's to MrSarcastic for the plot idea in that regard. Since Shimmer's powers don't last for long, I decided to go a different route then using her for the cure, but the idea that the original process cured her, but wore off was his. Again, I'll post the rest when I gets me a review. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 1

32 Productions Presents…

**32 Productions Presents…**

A HIVE Team Humor Story

**The HIVE Team In…**

"**The Philo-whosit Stone"**

**Chapter One**

**Titan H.Q.: Changeling's Room**

Terra purred as she nuzzled against Changeling. They were lying together in bed.

Terra: Now THAT was fun.

The dazed look on Changeling's face told her that he agreed. The experiment had worked wonders. She brushed her blonde hair from her face. By fusing the now deceased Gemini's cells with her stone body, Terra was able to shape shift once. She instantly turned herself back to her former fleshy self…well, ALMOST. She did make a few slight…adjustments. She shivered.

Terra: Great…did someone turn the air on or something?

Snapping out of his daze, Changeling blinked.

Changeling: Huh? What are you talking about?

Terra: It's freezing in here!

It most certainly was not. Changeling felt fine. The temperature was rather comfortable. Terra huddled against him, shaking.

Terra: Jeez, what the hell? It's like an ice box…

Changeling: Terra, it's not cold in here at all. If it was that cold, wouldn't you see your breath or something?

Terra blinked. He was right. So what the hell was going…

Terra: Aaah!

Changeling: Terra! What's wrong?

Her whole body hurt! Then she felt it. Her skin stiffening.

Terra: No, no, no…

She tried to will her body to stop, but it was no good. Rapidly her skin returned to its stone state. Her blue eyes went back to glowing yellow constantly. But there was one thing that was different. One horrible, terrible thing. She could feel. It was funny. That was the one thing she wanted more then anything before…but she didn't think of one thing. A stone body doesn't have a heat source. So, in short, she was freezing cold! Her teeth clenched…then chattered.

Terra: I'm going to kill him!

:CUE THEME:

**HIVE Tower: Red X's Room**

Red X massaged her temples. Krystal was still clinging to her legs.

Krystal: Please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please…

Red X: No! Krystal, we don't need a pet!

Yes, Krystal wanted a pet. How did she put it? Oh yes. "The tower is tragically and painfully devoid of petitude." Pets…feh. What a tragic thing to do to an animal. To cage it and keep it from being it's true self. Do you think a dog would be eating kibbles and bits in the wild? Hell no! Do you think a bob cat seeks out scratching posts? No! So why would they need a pet? Huffing, Krystal let go, sitting on the floor like a stubborn child.

Krystal: Jinx would have said yes…

Red X: Well Jinx isn't the leader anymore, is she?

Snorting, Krystal stood up.

Krystal: Listen to you, all high and mighty. Don't forget this is a temp job for you, 'kay?

Red X: …I'm aware of that. The point is, I'm still in charge. Once Jinx takes the reigns back from me, then you can ask HER. Until then, no pet.

Pouting, Krystal kicked the floor like she always did when disappointed.

Krystal: We'll see about that. I have plans. Oh what plans I have. The most planniest plans of all plandom.

Red X: Listen to me. There is no way I'll let any animal on this planet…or from any other…become our pet, do you got me?

Krystal sighed, nodding. Pleased to have gotten her point across, Red X gestured to the door.

Red X: Now, if you would be so kind as to get out while I'm trying think?

Krystal left the room, shaking her head. No animal on this or any other planet, huh? Hmm…there had to be a loop hole in there somewhere. Maybe Blackfire could help. She went off in search of the Tamaranian.

**Titan H.Q.: Garage Workshop**

The other Titans grabbed Terra, trying desperately to stop her from throttling Cyborg to death. She punched his metal mask hard enough to dent it.

Terra: You lied to me! You said you'd cure me and you lied! You made it worse! Bastard! I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!

Finally Robin managed to spray her in the face with gas. She groaned softly before pitching forward. Cyborg threw her off, rubbing his throat.

Cyborg: What the hell is her problem?!

Changeling: Gee, dude, maybe it's because you said you cured her and she's stone again?

Cyborg: How is that MY fault? I told her it might not work!

Raven: **Terra was never the picture of emotional stability. You should have seen this coming.**

Grumbling, Cyborg took his mask off and looked at it.

Cyborg: Man, now I got to make a new mask…

Robin: Try spares. I have dozens of these little things.

He tapped the side of his mask.

Starfire: So…what is it that went wrong?

Cyborg: Off hand, I'd say it's because we used a corpse instead of a living being. That girl's cells were already dying rapidly when we fused them. It was just a matter of time before they gave out on her.

Changeling: And you didn't say that before?! Dude, she was overjoyed to be human again and you basically just teased her with it!

Raven: **What was she going on about? How is it worse?**

Changeling: She said she was cold. Freezing cold. I guess her sense of touch is back.

Robin: And now she's wishing it wasn't. Great. Anyone have an idea on what to do with her?

Raven: **I think…**

Starfire: YOUR suggestions are unwanted, Raven.

Gritting her teeth, Raven turned on her heels.

Raven: **Hmph. Then do with her as you wish. I don't care. Come, Shade.**

Obediently, Shade followed her out of the room.

Starfire: Now then…I suggest we feed her a sedative to keep her calm, then work on this temperature issue once we are certain she will not attempt to murder Cyborg again.

The others agreed. Raven, who had pressed her ear to the door after leaving, clenched her fists. That was basically what SHE was going to say! But rather then use a sedative, which may not work, she was going to use her powers, which sure as hell would work! Turning, Raven started for her room.

Raven: **Shade, I think the time has come to make preparations.**

Shade grunted. It sounded like a question.

Raven: **In due time, I'll explain. For now, do as I say.**

Nodding, Shade eagerly followed her. Raven made a silent vow. She would regain her standing in the Titans…or take the team over herself. She had no desire to be leader…but she wasn't going to be on the lower rung of the ladder either. Not in this life time, anyway. Given the choice, she'd rather be leader.

**HIVE Tower: Training Room**

Blackfire frowned, deep in thought. Next to her was Krystal, bouncing up and down with eagerness. Blackfire had agreed to help. She always wanted another pet. She had one once…back when she was a little sickly kid. It was a snark named Ryand'r. It was her mother's idea. Apparently she was going to name her son that, but he was still-born, tragically. A snark is a small, affectionate reptilian creature (I'm making this up, so if there is a snark in the comics, I have no idea what it looks like). Unlike the lizards of Earth, snarks were very loving creatures. Ryan'dr was mostly green with blue spots on his scales. Starfire had lied to her parents and claimed that it was due to Blackfire neglecting him that the snark had died. In reality, Starfire had poisoned it. However, her parents believed the lie and never got her a replacement. Hearing the click behind her, Blackfire tossed several blackbolts, destroying the targets easily.

Blackfire: So…no animal from this planet or any other…

Krystal: That's what she said.

Blackfire: Hmm…we could ask Gizmo to build us a robotic pet. That's not animal.

Krystal: A cold metal robot pet? I can't snuggle with that! It's cold! And metal!

Sighing, Blackfire nodded. She had to agree, that didn't sound very cute. Destroying the next set of targets, Blackfire floated up, folding her legs and thinking hard.

Blackfire: Hmm…the only thing I can think of is to get an animal that's from another reality or something. It's not from THIS planet, nor is it from any other.

Krystal: How are we going to do that?

Blackfire: No idea.

Krystal frowned. There had to be an answer in this somewhere. Hmm…

Krystal: I got it!

Blackfire: What?

Krystal: We'll use Jinx's stuff! That girl's bound to have all sorts of magicy things in her room we can use!

Blackfire: Krystal, the last time you tried that, you caused socks everywhere to revolt.

Sighing, Krystal shook her head.

Krystal: It was a good idea, I tell you! Think of it! Socks that don't get lost because they can return to your room on their own! It was brilliant! All I wanted to do was give life to my socks. Was that so wrong?

Blackfire: Wrong, no. Bizarre, yes. …but since I know better then to argue, I'll go along with it. At least if I'm there I can make sure you don't do something TOO bad…like blow up the planet.

Krystal: You're the greatest, Blackie!

What was meant to be a peck on the lips lasted a bit longer as Blackfire put her hand on the back of Krystal's head. Not surprisingly, Krystal didn't struggle.

Krystal: What was that for?

Blackfire: Being you.

Krystal: Easiest kiss I've ever earned then.

Laughing, Blackfire shook her head.

Blackfire: Alright…now we need to figure out how we're going to get in Jinx's room without risking getting caught.

Krystal: Hmm…we could make out…

Blackfire: How will that get Jinx out of her room?

Krystal: Oh…YOU know.

Silence.

Krystal: Okay, so it won't help. Is it really that bad of an idea?

Blackfire: Hmm…no. No it isn't. Okay, we make out. And if that doesn't work, then what?

Krystal: Ah, a plan B. Good idea. You think ahead, I like that.

More silence.

Blackfire: You know what?

Krystal: What?

Blackfire: I think this can wait until after plan A.

Krystal: Alrighty then. Your room or mine?

Blackfire: Yours. It's closer.

…what? It's been a long time. Besides, as weird as Krystal was, for whatever reason, Blackfire really loved her. …and furthermore, I'm stalling because I can't think of a good way to keep Jinx out of her room.

**Titan H.Q.: Terra's Room**

Terra stared at the ceiling, her heart heavy. How could fate tease her like that? To give her a taste of her old life back, only to take it away again…it was twisted beyond words. She was now forced to carry a huge sun lamp around, rolling it on wheels. It was the only way to heat her stone body. She could retain the heat for maybe…an hour and a half afterward. Two hours if she's been under it a while. It was connected to a large battery at the base of it. Maybe it was because she was no longer freezing…or maybe the large sedative they gave her had something to do with it, but she was no longer filled with the urge to kill Cyborg. No, the only thing on her mind was becoming human again. Suddenly she got an idea. Springing from her bed, she left the room, pulling the STUPID lamp behind her. She knocked on Raven's door.

Raven: **What is it?**

Terra: Raven, open up, it's me.

The door slid open and Raven regarded her with cold eyes.

Raven: **I haven't touched him today.**

Terra: What? No! That's not why I'm here! I want to talk to you about a cure for me.

Raven: **…alright, come in.**

Terra blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected it to be so easy. She entered and Raven whistled sharply. Shade looked up from the bed.

Raven: **Shadow chair.**

Shade yawned, his tongue curling before obeying Raven and creating a chair. Raven gestured toward it.

Raven: **Sit.**

As Terra sat down, Raven floated up, crossing her legs. She rested her elbow on her leg, then her chin on her palm.

Raven: **Now…we've been through this. I've got nothing that can help.**

Terra: Yeah, I know…but what about this…um…stone thing?

Raven: **You'll have to be more specific.**

Sighing, Terra struggled to remember the word before "stone". It was a hard word…a school type word.

Terra: Begins with an "f" or a "ph"? Philanthropy's stone?

Raven: **The Philosopher Stone?**

Terra: Yeah! That! That thing changes stuff, right? Converts from one thing to another? Like that Shimmer girl, but it doesn't go away after a few minutes.

Sighing, Raven shook her head.

Raven: **Terra, that stone doesn't exist in this world.**

Reaching out, Raven brought a tome to her hand and flipped it open.

Raven: **According to alchemistic text, the Philosopher Stone was deemed too dangerous. Many people attempted to resurrect loved ones with it, resulting in soulless creatures walking about, looking human but inside, they are devoid of emotion or even rational thought. They are driven solely by instinct, killing, eating, raping…that sort of thing. Others tried to create chimeras, which are hybrid creatures. Multi-headed animals with serpent tails and wings, for example…**

Terra: Enough with the history lesson! Where is it now?

Raven: **Right, right…sorry. I got caught up in it. Anyway, the stone is trapped in another world.**

Terra: What? Another planet?

Raven shook her head, closing the book.

Raven: **No, another world. I can't say what kind, but it's more of an alternate dimension then anything else. For all I know, humans could have been replaced with intelligent apes in that world.**

All that meant to Terra was a load of nothing. She leaned forward.

Terra: Can you…WAAH!

Terra fell, landing on her butt. The chair was gone. Sighing, Raven floated over and smacked Shade on the head.

Raven: **Can't you stay awake for five minutes?!**

Shade whimpered an apology.

Raven: **Sorry about that. You were saying?**  
Terra: Can you get me to this world?

Raven: **Well…I suppose I could try. …but it will be dangerous. I'll go with you.**

Shade sat up. Patting his head, Raven shook her own.

Raven: **No, no. You have to stay here. …I'll be fine. Don't worry. And I'll get us back. Trust me. Okay?**

With a depressed sigh, Shade nodded.

Terra: …why are you helping me?

Raven: **Terra, we're friends. What's a little harmless teasing between friends, hmm? Garfield would never turn his back on you. His love for you borders on obsession, unlike Shade here. He's crossed that line, I just don't mind it. I know this. I'm empathic. I've always known. I have no chance in Hell with Changeling and that's why I tease.**

It was an out and out lie, of course. Changeling was tempted by Raven, who wouldn't be? It amused Raven that he resisted for so long. Ever since she regained the human appearance she had lost when she accepted her father's power, she had taken to seduction rather well. The fact was, if Changeling ever did cave, Raven would actually be disappointed. Terra's expression was that of doubt, but she shook her head.

Terra: Whatever you say.

Raven: **I'm glad you think that. We're not to tell the others about this.**

Terra: Why the hell not?

Raven: **Because they'll stop us!**

Raven landed and began pacing her room, her voice tinged with paranoia.

Raven: **It's all Starfire's fault. She's turning Robin against me. My plans were good. It was HIS execution that was flawed! Starfire used Robin's pride to force him to believe it was the other way around. Or perhaps he's just that much of an egotistical asshole. Either way, they've shut me out. I'm nothing more then a grunt in his eyes now. My input doesn't matter. They'll stop us. You know I'm right.**

Terra bit her stone lip. Raven was more agitated then she had ever seen her. Still, she had a point.

Terra: Okay, okay. I won't tell anyone.

Raven: **You can tell Changeling. That's all. I'll prepare the spell. Come back in one hour.**

Terra: Okay. Be ready or I'll be pissed.

Raven: **Hurry up and go. That lamp is making it unbearably hot in here.**

Sighing, Terra left the room. Raven picked another tome from her shelf, trying to learn what she'd need for the spell to work.

**END PART ONE**


	3. Chapter 2

32 Productions Presents…

**32 Productions Presents…**

A HIVE Team Humor Story

**The HIVE Team In…**

"**The Philo-whosit Stone"**

**Chapter Two**

**HIVE Tower: Jinx's Room**

Imagine their surprise when plan A actually worked. Not the making itself, mind you, but by taking the time to make out, the two had given Jinx enough time to leave the tower. As it turns out, Jinx had met a guy a few days ago…to which I shall flashback to right…NOW!

**FLASHBACK: Cemetery**

Sighing, Jinx shook her head. She had been visiting Sonic's grave a lot. She brushed her pink hair from her face. There were times when Jinx had found it difficult to believe he was really gone. Though she recovered from the guilt thanks to the bizarre experience that occurred in her head shortly after his death, that didn't mean she had recovered from his death itself. In any case, she often came down to talk to his tombstone…which she had replaced after finding it vandalized by Raven. The next time the bitch did that, she'd be EATING the tombstone.

Jinx: Sometimes…I think it wasn't fair that Shimmer came back instead of you. But…I think of how happy Mammoth is now and…I feel like a selfish bitch for thinking it at all. You're not coming back.

Jinx chuckled softly, wiping her eyes. She wasn't crying, but she did get misty eyed when she came to visit.

Jinx: You're probably happier now anyway, surrounded by buxom angels. It would be just like you. You always knew the right thing to say to women. The only girl you couldn't just talk into wanting you was me. …you had to prove to me what kind of guy you were first.

Bending down, Jinx placed a rose on his grave as she did every time she came by.

Jinx: That'll probably be my last rose. …it…it isn't easy to say this…but…it's been a long time since you died. Sonic, I'll never forget our time together. I'll never regret it for a second. …but…I have to move on. This doesn't mean I won't be back at all, but…I'm lonely. It's been months. In that time, I've watched Blackfire and Krystal, cozy and loving as always…Gizmo and Shimmer have been in denial mostly, but they're not fooling anyone. Red X is just as bad with Knife-play. No, check that. She's worse. Red X tries to lie about where she's going when she leaves to hang out with him. …and to be perfectly honest, I'm really looking for a reason to get the hell away from Inertia. You'd probably laugh at me, but I can't help but feel like he's trying to be better then you. …no, I'd know you'd laugh and say something like "good luck with that!" all smug. And I'd punch you in the arm and kiss your cheek…

Jinx shook her head. She was losing her nerve again.

Jinx: The point is…I can't obsess with you anymore. It'll probably be a bit before I date again…but the first step is to acknowledge that…well, let's face it. I'm talking to a stone slab with your name on it. …gah! I can't help but feel like a heartless jerk for doing this. …it feels too early, but…I know it's not.

Pressing to fingers to her lips, she kissed them before placing them on the side of the tombstone.

Jinx: Good bye, S…no. Good bye, Mike. I love you. See you in two weeks, tops.

It was better then every other day like she had been doing. A cold wind swept by and she shivered, huddling herself up in her coat. Where was the stupid SPRING weather? Damn climate shifts. Some places had unseasonable warmth. Why was she freezing her butt off?! She was decided to stop in a café and get some hot chocolate before heading home. A small smile came to her face as she climbed into the H-car. She was beginning to understand why Sonic took so much pride in it. It was a great car. After ordering her hot chocolate, Jinx turned to get a place to sit. She'd be damned if she was going to take chocolate in a liquidized form into her car. Oh the stains…the horrible, HORRIBLE stains…speaking of, just as she took a step, she bumped into someone, spilling the hot boiling lava…er…chocolate all over.

Jinx: Ouch!

Bumpee: Hot!

Well, now she needed a new coat. She sure as hell wasn't going to keep a stained one. …and new pants.

Jinx: I'm so sorry, I'm such a klutz.

Bumpee: No problem. I'm used to bumping into things.

Oh crap. She had slammed into a blind guy. Now she felt like a klutz and a heel. Hmm…not a bad looking guy. Blonde hair, kind of long…just above the base of his neck in the back and split down the middle with a comb. If he did that himself, he must have a knack for it. He wore sunglasses. Either he thought that's how the blind always look or he had visible eye damage, like a white film or something. Nice build…must be active. …oh what was she doing?! Eyeing up a guy she just knocked over! Was she nuts?!

Jinx: It's still my fault. Tsk…and I've gone and stained both of our clothes.

Bumpee: And that's why it sucks to be able to see. That sort of thing doesn't bother me at all.

Jinx: Well…let me at least buy you something or I'll be plagued with guilt all day.

Bumpee: That's a selfish way to look at it. I'm Greg, by the way. Greg Owens.

Jinx: Everyone just calls me Jinx. I don't have a last name.

None that she was willing to use anyway.

Greg: Jinx, huh? So I'm guessing this isn't the first time you bowled someone over.

Jinx: Huh? Oh, no, no, no. I'm still going to buy you something, so let's get back in line. I won't take a "no" for an answer.

Greg: Well, in that case…

**END FLASHBACK**

They hit it off almost immediately. She never had to explain her bizarre lack of skin color or her unusual eyes and hair. He couldn't see them. It was like all those sappy movies with the blind chick falling for some hideously ugly guy. At the same time, Jinx never treated him any different for his blindness. She didn't do anything that wasn't necessary, like lead him by the hand. And with that side story taken care of, we return to the plot. Blackfire shook her head.

Blackfire: Jinx must be obsessive compulsive or something…

Krystal: Nah, just really anal.

The spell books were put in order of what they specialized in, clearly labeled and within THAT ordering, they were place alphabetical. Either Jinx had a lousy memory when it came to spell memorization (which would explain why she always uses a bad luck curse over and over) or she was BEGGING for someone to come in and misuse her spells. Krystal preferred to believe it was the latter.

Krystal: Ah ha!

Blackfire: Find it?

Krystal: No, but I found a spell to maintain clear skin! That's why Jinx never gets a zit! She even highlighted the page!

Blackfire: Keep looking…but memorize that one first.

Krystal: Damn skippy!

It was odd. Krystal had a decent aptitude for magic. Nowhere near the power of Jinx, of course, but Krystal had it. Blackfire, however, barely had any. Jinx let her try a few minor spells when she first joined. Turn water to ice, create a ball of light, simple things. She managed a spark. That was it. It was a real blow to her pride. But at least she could lift several tons! So there! BLEH! Blackfire stopped on a spell book.

Blackfire: Ah. "Teleportation and Trans dimensional travel." I wonder why she never used this book before.

Krystal: Maybe we need to sacrifice a virgin to get it to work.

Blackfire: …do we even have one?

Krystal: Let's see…Gizmo is…Mammoth…might be…um…Inertia isn't…Jinx is…and so is Red X.

Blackfire: How do you know that?!

Krystal waved a finger.

Krystal: That is a secret.

Blackfire: …you were guessing.

Krystal: Bingo. Well, let's see the book already!

They went through the pages.

Krystal: Oh! We can go to the North Pole! Santa Claus!

Blackfire: No.

Krystal: But…

Blackfire: He's…um…very busy.

Krystal: …wow, you're actually trying to keep up the illusion. Blackfire, I'm seventeen years old. I know there's no Santa. Come on. I'm mentally unbalanced, not stupid. Hmm…let's take the book to my room. Looks like this takes a bit to set up.

Blackfire: I hope Jinx takes a long time on that date of hers.

Krystal: I'm sure we'll be in the clear. And if not, we were brainwashed.

Blackfire: I'm mindless as we speak.

Krystal: Really? It's a good thing I love you for your body then.

**Later…**

Krystal banged on Blackfire's door.

Krystal: I was kidding! Kidding! Joking! Making jest! Come on, open up! I'm sorry!

Inertia watched as she started banging her head on the door, repeatedly saying "I'm an idiot and don't deserve you" over and over. He held up a bottle marked only with three Xs on the label and shook his head.

Inertia: Not another drop as long as I live.

With that, he tossed the bottle behind him.

Mammoth: OW! What the f is this?! Why did someone throw a bottle of tartar sauce at me?!

Inertia: (harsh whisper) Oh crap!

He ran off. Krystal blinked, feeling a breeze as Inertia blurred past. Shrugging, she banged her head on the door again.

Krystal: What are you doing in there, Blackie? C'mon…you know I would never mean something like that! It was in poor taste, but c'mon! …I wuvs you?

The door finally opened and Blackfire blinked.

Blackfire: Were you saying something? I just remembered I left my hair curler plugged in.

Krystal: How would that cause you not to hear me? … and you don't own a hair curler.

Blackfire: …then what did I just unplug?

Yeah…I'm as lost as you are right now. Let's move on.

**Titan H.Q.: Raven's Room**

Shade nudged Raven's leg again, trying to get her to forget her plan to cast that teleportation spell. Raven growled and pushed him away with her foot.

Raven: **Do you want me to be teleported in halves?! Stop pushing me while I'm trying to prepare a spell! Moronic beast…**

Sighing, Shade climbed back on the bed and laid his head down. He didn't want her to go without him. What if she got in trouble? Could Terra really be trusted with helping her? A knock on the door signaled the stone girl's arrival.

Raven: **Don't just sit there. Open the damn door for her. I'm busy!**

Raven was very irritable at the moment. His less then human brain couldn't process why. The emotions of humans were difficult to follow. While he possessed them all as well, humans seemed to react differently to them. For example…why wasn't he allowed to kill Changeling when Raven flirted with him? It made perfect sense to him…humans were just too…

Raven: **Are you DEAF?! OPEN THE DOOR!**

Oh, right! The door! Shade let Terra in.

Terra: Is it ready?

Raven: **Just about. I'd have gone faster, but SOMEONE kept pushing my leg with their head.**

…he was pretty sure she meant him.

Raven: **There. Okay. Step into the circle.**

Terra did as instructed, dragging her lamp with her. Raven sighed.

Raven: **That can't make the trip, Terra. You have to leave it.**

Terra: But…

Raven: **If this works, Terra, you'll never need it again. What's a few hours of discomfort compared to a lifetime of normal skin?**

Sighing, Terra released the lamp. Raven joined her in the circle.

Raven: **Now Shade…listen VERY carefully. Under NO circumstances is this circle to be disturbed. You are to put a barrier around it and make sure nothing touches it. I'm counting on you. Understand me?**

Shade nodded.

Raven: **Atta boy. Now then…Klaatu barada nikto.**

Terra: You're kidding me…

Raven: **What?**

Terra: That's the words fr…

The pair teleported away. Shade put up the shield around the spell circle and whined softly.

**HIVE Tower: Krystal's Room**

Blackfire bit her lip. She was having second thoughts about all this.

Blackfire: Are you sure about this? We can still go for a robot pet and put fur on it. You know, wrap it up in a teddy bear or something.

Krystal paused as she was nearing completion of the circle.

Krystal: …a living teddy bear…no. No, I've made up my mind. There. All set.

Blackfire: Did you at least leave a note?

Krystal: Yeppers. …you know, if you're nervous, you can stay here.

Blackfire: And let you go all by yourself?! No thanks! At least if this screws up and we're lost forever, at least we're together.

Krystal: Aw, that's sweet. Though I'm sure we'll be trying to kill each other after the first twenty years of isolation. Welp, into the circle with ya.

The pair got into the circle.

Krystal: Okay…Klaatu…Barada…um…N…uh…

Blackfire: Don't you dare.

Krystal: But I GOTTA! It just BEGS for it! PLEASE?

Krystal stuck out her lip, pouting. Blackfire shook her head.

Blackfire: I am not going to wind in the land of Chthulu beyond the veil just so you can quote a movie!

Krystal: Nuts. Klaatu Barada Nikto.

The portal swallowed them up.

**Who Knows Where**

Raven and Terra reappeared in the middle of a vast forest. Terra looked around, arms folded.

Terra: Well, the sky isn't bleeding, so it's not that bad. …pretty dark out though.

Raven: **Hmph. We'd best get started. There's no telling if there's even anyone to ask about the stone here.**

Terra: Don't sweat that.

Terra's eyes glowed brighter.

Terra: If it's stone, I'll find it.

Raven: **Good. I…**

Raven froze.

Terra: You what…?

Raven: **Shh…Terra…something is watching me.**

Terra: You're really paranoid…why would they watch you and not me?

Raven: **Because it can't eat you.**

Spinning, Raven caught the wolf creature in mid-leap. Terra gaped.

Terra: What the hell is that?!

Raven: **If I had to guess…a werewolf. Or perhaps simply some sort of wolf-man hybrid.**

Terra: Let's check.

Raven: **How?**

Smirking, Terra raised her arm. A spike of solid rock shot up, piercing the beast. It let out a shrill yowl before going limp.

Terra: Yep. Just a hybrid. A werewolf would have survived.

Raven: **Heh…you really are a wicked one, T…**

Raven was interrupted by a series of angry howls from deep in the woods…and it was getting louder.

Terra: …that was about an army of those things, wasn't it?

Raven: **Let's get off the ground. Now.**

Terra: R…right.

Raven used her powers to lift Terra.

Terra: Hey! What are you doing? I can fly myself!

Raven: **After seeing what walks on the ground, you'd risk seeing what's under it?**

Terra: …good point.

The pair rose up…and were quickly smacked down by the trees. Raven hit the ground with a groan, but Terra just growled in annoyance.

Terra: What the hell, man?! The trees are pissed at us too?

Raven: **To hell with my last comment! Uproot the bastards! They're getting closer and I for one don't want to see if getting bitten by one of those things means becoming one!**

Terra: Works for me…though I doubt they could bite me anyway.

Lifting her arms, Terra sent a tremor through the forest. The trees groaned at the sudden upheaval before starting to topple. To their amazement, however, the roots began to move, pushing back into the earth and righting themselves back up.

Terra: Get us in the air now, before they're standing again!

Raven lifted them up into the air, getting them clear of the forest. They froze as they looked around.

Raven: **…you're going to be serving me in the afterlife for this, you realize that, don't you?**

Terra: Craaaaap…

Even from there, they could see things that didn't exist in their world. A huge creature with multiple heads could be seen in the distance, walking on four legs like a brachiosaurus, each head moving like snakes, save for the center which seemed to be the only one that served the purpose of guiding the body. In another direction, a huge two headed bird could just barely be seen flying near a mountain.

Terra: …is it too late to go back?

Raven: **As a matter of fact, no. It's too early. The portal won't open again for some time. A day at most.**

Terra: A freaking DAY?! What the frack?!

Raven: **When we return, only an hour or so will have passed. This spell also causes time displacement.**

Terra: …still sucks. So now what?

Raven: **…I don't know. This wasn't what I expected. It would seem that here, all the creatures of myth are real. I'd wager a "dog" is considered an urban legend by anything smart enough to think of such things around here. …damn it…maybe they're right. Maybe my plans are bad…maybe I am useless…**

Terra: Hey! This was my idea! Now let's find a place to land outside of that forest and get to looking!

Raven: **I…hmm?**

Raven turned her head toward another direction.

Terra: What?

Raven: **…I sense something…very familiar emotions. I believe we have company. …and I loathe the concept…but if things get too difficult, we may be forced to work with them.**

Terra: Oh, I hate that! Stupid villain/hero team ups…like a damn plot device.

**Elsewhere in the World…er…near a lake or something**

Krystal and Blackfire appeared in a field, just overlooking a large lake. Krystal tapped her chin.

Krystal: Hmm…well, I've already decided that I don't want a fish. Let's look somewhere…OH MY GOD!

Blackfire jumped at the sudden shout, looking around for the reason.

Blackfire: What? What is it?

Krystal: Check out that horse!

Krystal pointed to a large white horse trotting toward them. It seemed to almost be showing off to them. Krystal squealed.

Krystal: It's actually coming toward us! This is so cool! Horses usually run away when I come near them.

Blackfire: That's because you run at them full tilt and leap on their backs. The fact that you're squealing like that when you do it doesn't make you any less scary to them.

Krystal: …yeah, well…you have long hair!

The horse approached, showing no signs of fear. Blackfire found that…disconcerting. There was something wrong with this situation…

Blackfire: Why is it wet?

True enough, water ran down its mane, dripping onto the grass below. The horse gave her a look, as if trying to tell her to shut up. Krystal shrugged, stroking its face gently.

Krystal: There's a lake right there. It probably went for a swim. They DO that, you know.

Blackfire: Yeah…but…

There was something about this…she knew this one. What was it…? Giggling with excitement, Krystal climbed onto the back of the horse. Blackfire could swear the thing had just smiled. In a sudden move, it turned and sprinted for the lake.

Krystal: YAHOO! Man, this is a fast one!

Swearing, Blackfire took off after them. She grabbed Krystal and pulled her from the horse.

Blackfire: Back into the depth, brook horse!

Krystal: What the hell are you doing?

The horse glared before diving into the water. It was replaced by a slithering serpent that dove down to the bottom.

Krystal: AAAH! That thing ate my horse!

Blackfire: That was a brook horse, baby.

She placed Krystal back on the ground. Scratching her head, Krystal shrugged.

Krystal: So…is that a bad breed?

Blackfire: No, no…it's a brook horse. A kelpie, a nix. …it's a shape shifting creature that lures riders onto its back. Once there, the person can't get off on their own no matter what. It then dives back into the water it came out of, drowning the rider and eating the corpse.

Krystal: …so…I can't keep it?

Blackfire: Not unless you want it constantly trying to kill you.

Krystal: Yeah I guess that…

Woman: Excuse me…

Their conversation interrupted, the pair turned to see who had spoken. To their great surprise, the woman was in the lake…naked. She brushed her long blonde (with an odd tint of green) hair from her face, smiling softly. She reached one hand toward them.

Woman: Could one of you please help me? This water is so cold and I need someone to help warm me.

Blackfire: Er…

Krystal: I got it!

…somehow I doubt the woman was expected a huge ball of light to appear next to her.

Krystal: There you go, nice and roasty toasty warm. …NOW GET OUT OF HERE, WICKED RUSALKA! OUT, I SAY, OR I'LL ROAST YOUR UNDEAD ASS!

Huffing, the woman dove back into the water. Krystal grinned.

Krystal: I played "Quest for Glory: Shadows of Darkness". Rusalki are the ghosts of drowned, spurned women who come back to drag anyone dumb enough to get close enough into the water.

Blackfire: …so we're in a world where everything wants to drown us?

Krystal: …well…maybe if we get something really small, it won't be able to.

Blackfire: Now you're being stubborn.

Krystal: Well, we came all this way! I want SOMETHING!

Sighing, Blackfire patted her head.

Blackfire: Okay, okay. I get it. I'm sure there's something harmless around here.

Krystal: Aw, you're just saying that 'cause we're stuck here.

Blackfire: So?

Krystal: Just saying. So, which way do you want to go? We got wide open space, wide open space, a lake, and a mountain range.

Shaking her head, Blackfire waved her finger.

Blackfire: That's only in the North, South, East, West directions. There are all the between ones as well. …by X'hal, I'm starting to sound like you!

Krystal: Nah, then your voice would be higher in pitch.

Blackfire: You're faking that.

Krystal blinked.

Krystal: You know?

Krystal's real voice wasn't the childish thing she used normally. It was deeper…more like a seventeen year old girl. But in her childish body, it seemed so out of place. In her eyes, it was just another freakish thing about her…so she raised her voice's pitch to sound more…fitting to her features.

Blackfire: I won't ask why, but whatever the reason, unless it hurts to do otherwise, you don't have to do it.

Krystal: (real voice) …you really want me to talk like this?

Blackfire was taken aback by it. It was probably throatier then her own! She could be a phone sex operator with that voice! Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but…damn. Given the shrill thing she had been using before…it was shocking.

Krystal: (high pitch) I thought so.

Blackfire: I didn't say anything yet! …Krystal, you must be good at changing your voice. I would never have guessed you sounded so…mature.

Krystal: Yeah, well…

Blackfire: Stop that. You don't have to change your voice at all.

Krystal rubbed her arm.

Krystal: …I…I just can't. It isn't right. I can't…I'm sorry, I can't.

Blackfire: Calm down…it's all your choice. I'm not twisting your arm.

Krystal: Good, 'cause I'd blind you if you did. Arm twisting hurts…

Before Blackfire could respond, the lake seemed to explode, showering them with its contents. Another large monster had just rose up from the depths. It was huge. Reptilian in appearance, all they could see what the intensely long neck, covered in green scales…well, that and the teeth. They could easily see the teeth.

Krystal: …that's a deep lake. …RUN AWAY!

Well, it was more like fly away. Still it got them out of the reach of the snapping jaws of the monster. …this was starting to look like a VERY bad idea.

**END PART TWO**


	4. Chapter 3

32 Productions Presents…

**32 Productions Presents…**

A HIVE Team Humor Story

**The HIVE Team In…**

"**The Philo-whosit Stone"**

**Chapter Three**

**Mountainous Region**

Raven panted, leaning against a rock. They were flying away from the forest…Terra said to go toward the mountains, both because she could sense the stone in that direction, and because with all those rocks there, it would be in her favor, no matter what came at them. Then it came at them. Shrieking like an eagle, swiping at them with the claws of a lion, a freaking GRIFFIN tried to take them out of the sky. With a low whimper, Raven touched her arm. Her hand came back red. Quickly, she grabbed the wound and squeezed as hard as she could, biting her lip to keep from shouting in pain. She had dodged the griffin. If she hadn't, it was very probable that she'd be dead. In doing so, however, Raven hit a jagged outcropping, putting a gash in her arm.

Terra: Damn it…that looks bad…

Raven: **Shut up and help me…rip my cloak and tie it around the wound tightly. My demonic blood will prevent infection.**

Terra: Can't you do it? I'm trying to watch for anything that will want to make a meal out of us…well, you anyway.

Raven: **If I could do it, would I be asking you?! Nnngh…**

Raven shook her head. It was really deep. Raven could hear the soft pittering sound of the blood dripping to the ground through her tightly clenched hand. She had to stop the bleeding. She would clot soon…if she didn't bleed out first. Sighing, Terra tore Raven's cloak.

Raven: **Leave the hood alone.**

Terra: Shut up and let me save your life, would you? Hmm…

Terra raised her arm and turned some nearby rock to mud before tightly packing it onto Raven's wound.

Raven: **What in the nine Hells are you doing?**

Terra: Shh.

The mud hardened under her power's control and Terra tied the cloak strip to it.

Terra: There. That will help. I cleaned the mud of all unwanted filth. It's just a thick pack, like gauze.

Raven: **…er…thank you. …I guess. You're becoming rather creative with your powers, aren't you?**

Terra: When you can't feel anything, you get bored real fast. Messing with my powers is one of the few things I can do to pass the time. Other things are messing around with Gar, watching TV, playing video games, and killing people. So…yeah. I learned to be creative.

Raven: **I need a few seconds to rest…damn creature. To come so close to dying at the hands of some hungry animal…**

Terra: There's no time for that.

Terra knelt down.

Terra: Get on my back and I'll carry you.

Raven: **I…**

Terra: Either get on my back and I'll carry you, or I pick you up over my shoulder and carry you. Either way, I'm dragging your ass out of here.

Raven: **Hmph. Well, when put that way…**

Raven climbed onto Terra's back and wrapped her arms around her stone throat. Terra supported her legs.

Raven: **…your skin is smoother then before.**

Terra: I know. One of the only good things about this stupid change. Before it was stone replacing my skin. Now it's my skin turned to stone.

Raven: **Well, at least I don't need to worry about bleeding even more then. Let's go before we're attacked by a gorgon or something.**

Terra: What's that?

Raven: **…Medusa.**

Terra: …so why'd you call it a gorgon and not a medusa?

Raven: **No, Medusa was her name, her species was a gorgon.**

Terra: You're making that up.

Raven: **Look it up for yourself if you don't believe me.**

Snorting, Terra shook her head, starting to walk.

Terra: Hell no. Like I've got that sort of patience.

Raven: **I thought not.**

Terra trudged on silently for a while, honing in on the energy coming from the stone. She was confident that it could cure her now. The energy was so awesome…so powerful. If she couldn't use it to cure herself, she'd use it to destroy everyone who pissed her off. …and after walking for a while she got bored.

Terra: Hey, Raven.

Raven: **Hmm?**

Terra: Is he any good?

Raven: **Is who any good at what?**

Terra: You know.

Raven: **No, I don't. Do I really look like I'm in the mood to play games right now?**

Terra tried not to snicker.

Terra: Is Shade any good in the sack? That's what I'm asking.

Raven: **…I hate you. I really do.**

Terra: Bad huh? Does he slobber on you?

Raven: **I'm not answering this…**

Terra: Come on…it's a harmless question.

Raven: **It's none of your fing business!**

Terra: I just want to understand what you see in him. He's mute, has bad hygiene, spends most of the day sleeping…

Raven thought for a moment. If she told…it would probably help her cement their alliance. That was important. Sighing, Raven leaned her head on Terra's shoulder.

Raven: **Alright. You want to know what I see in him? I see that he cares. Without a single Trigon damn reason, he cares about me. Nobody…NOBODY…has ever showed me that kind of affection before…not even the pet that died and prompted me to ask my bitch of a mother for a hug. And yet without cause, this being from another world saves my hide from those wretched fools. Without cause, he consigns himself to becoming my pet. Without cause, he sacrifices his life to set me free of my father's influence. That's what I see in him.**

Terra rolled her eyes.

Terra: That's ridiculous…

Raven: **Is it? Ask yourself something, Terra. Why does Changeling stay with you when there are people with actual SKIN out there? Why does he choose to be with you? We may be psychopaths, but even psychopaths can love.**

Terra: Ah ha! So you admit that you love Shade and it's not just for the sex?

Raven: **…I hate you.**

Terra: Already said that.

Raven: **I'm repeating myself then! …yes, fine. I love him, okay?**

Terra: Does that qualify as bestiality?

Raven: **I could pose you the same question. At least MY bedmate looks human all the time.**

Terra rolled her eyes.

Terra: At least mine brushes his teeth without being told.

Raven: **Even the good boys need a push in the right direction now and then.**

Terra: What? What does that even mean?

Raven: **It means I don't need to tell him…I just LIKE to tell him.**

Terra: I'm guessing you're kinda kinky.

Raven: **Define "kinda kinky". **

Terra rattled off some examples of "kinda kinky". I'll leave those up to you. Raven thought for a moment.

Raven: **…no…but those do sound interesting. I may have to "suggest" some of those.**

Terra: …I'll have to apologize to Shade later then.

Raven chuckled softly.

Raven: **You may have to wait a while. He'll be sore.**

They both laughed.

**Other Side of the Mountain**

What a bad idea this whole trip was turning out to be. What possessed Blackfire to listen to Krystal anyway? Had the girl mastered mind control when she wasn't looking? Flying was out of the question. They had tried it before and got swarmed by harpies. Who knew the combination of a bird and a woman could be so damn ugly? Apparently the things were just territorial of the air. Once they landed, they stopped attacking. …either that or they knew something the pair didn't. Blackfire had a feeling it was the latter. They scaled the mountain silently. It wasn't particularly steep. Most parts they could walk rather then climb. After a while, Krystal spoke up.

Krystal: Hey, Blackie…

Blackfire: Yeah?

Krystal: …what would you do if I died?

The question came out of the blue and left the Tamaranian at a loss for words.

Blackfire: I…I don't…

Krystal: …'cause I don't think I'd be able to deal with you dying. I'm not like Jinx, I can't just move on to the next after a reasonable period of mourning.

Blackfire: I don't want to talk about this…

Krystal: Aw…I'll be your bestest friend if you tell me.

Blackfire: That would be a demotion in your book.

Krystal: …I'm serious, Blackfire. …would there be anyone else?

Blackfire: Well…I…

The sudden tremor interrupted Blackfire's reply. Above them, a giant cycloptic creature bellowed at them, lifting a huge boulder before hurling it in their direction.

Cyclops: My mountain! My mountain!

They dodged the boulder (which was easy, given the lack of depth perception their opponent had). Krystal snickered.

Krystal: You ARE a mountain, One Eye!

Krystal pointed a finger it.

Krystal: BANG!

A beam of light struck it in its single eye. It clutched at it before stumbling, falling down the mountain. Blackfire picked Krystal up and flew out of the way of the massive tumbling body.

Krystal: Oh! And my name is NOMAN!

Blackfire: What?

Krystal: It's from "The Odyssey". See, he tells the Cyclops his name is Noman, then blinds him with a sharp log. The creature calls to his brothers and says "I've been struck blind and Noman did the deed!" Because Noman sounds like "No man", they assume it was an act of the gods. Get it? …um…the harpies are coming back. We should probably land.

Blackfire: …I don't believe it.

Krystal: What?

Blackfire flew down, her teeth clenched. Krystal realized why. Down below, Raven looked up from Terra's shoulders and smirked, her eyes slightly glazed. The loss of blood was starting to get to her. Damn rock must have cut her worse then she thought.

Raven: **Company…**

Terra: You feeling okay, Raven? You sound a little spaced.

Raven: **I'm fine…but seriously…company.**

Blackfire landed in front of Terra, Krystal landing next to her. Terra scowled.

Terra: Oh. Company.

Blackfire: What in the hell are you doing here?

Now…Terra COULD tell the truth…that they were searching for a cure for her condition…but that probably would do them no good. Terra wasn't the brightest of the bright, but she got a good idea now and then. Now was one of those times.

Terra: You want the story? I'll spin it for you quick…

Krystal: Hey, the random movie quotes are my shtick!

Terra: See, I was kinda messing with Raven's books when I teleported us here. There's a portal back, but it's a good ways away. I can sense it because it's fixed to the ground and putting off some serious energy. …unfortunately Raven got attacked by a griffin.

Raven: **It's not that bad…just a little dizzy.**

Terra: I can fight and carry her, but not that well. I could use some help.

Blackfire: Are you kidding? Why should we?

Raven had caught on to Terra's plan. Not a bad one at that.

Raven: **Because only Terra knows where the exit is. I don't know about you, but the two of us will return home eventually…but given the dangers of this place, we'd rather it be sooner then later. I assume you feel the same way. Killing you here would only tire us and you have no place to put us if you won. That being the case, I suggest a temporary alliance is in order.**

Krystal scoffed and rolled her eyes.

Krystal: Ally ourselves with the backstabber and the chick that tried to blow up the world? Does this grin look like the smile of someone suicidal?

Terra: Hey, she could be your sister in law someday.

Raven: **Marriage?! Are you trying to make me ill? You expect a demon-girl like myself to enter HOLY matrimony?!**

Blackfire: I don't believe you for a second, Terra. If you were messing around with Raven's books, Changeling would be here.

Terra: Why?

Blackfire: Like you'd miss out on a chance to have fun with him?

Terra: Since when were you an expert on my behavior?

Blackfire: Tell the truth or we walk.

Terra: …we're looking for a cure for me. We didn't expect this place, okay? Raven's hurt and in a couple of hours, my body will be too cold for me to fight properly. I need help…your girlfriend's help specifically.

Blackfire stared at her for a moment, gauging her expression and tone of voice.

Blackfire: Since when did the cold matter?

Terra: A recent attempt to cure me went wrong. I get cold now…very cold. I'm already starting to feel a chill. I can absorb heat though…and Krystal there can give it to me. You can't just leave us here to die and you need all the help you can get. Scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours. Deal?

Blackfire: …alright. But if you give us ONE reason…just ONE reason to doubt you, I'll feed you to the hydra…and NOBODY will ever be able to pin it on us.

Krystal: Yeah! …do hydras eat rocks?

Blackfire: …we'll find out.

Scowling, Terra nodded her consent to the bargain. Raven sighed.

Raven: **Ah, well. It was worth a try, hmm? All things considered, it could have gone worse.**

Terra: Don't try pep talks. Everything you say sounds mocking.

Blackfire: If she's still feeling out of it, I'll carry her.

Raven: **That's not necessary. I can walk.**

Raven got off Terra's back, stumbling slightly.

Raven: **I'm beginning to think the moss on those rocks were toxic or something. Fortunately, my body deals with foreign agents very quickly.**

Krystal: Is that why you're swaying like a drunkard?

Raven: **I said quickly, not immediately. Now, let's get going. I doubt we'll be able to tolerate the presence of our opposites for very long.**

**HIVE Tower: Jinx's Room**

Jinx closed the door to her room and sighed, a small smile on her face. It went pretty well. Greg was a real sweet guy, surprisingly optimistic for someone who lost their vision at the age of seven. And it was…interesting to hang out with someone who didn't fight crime on a day to day basis. She was feeling much better. It wouldn't be long before she could reclaim the reigns from Red X. Of course, the question was, did she WANT to? Being leader was such a hassle…such a worrisome, nail biting type of a job. Of course, it would be wrong to just force such a position onto Red X. …eh, who wants to think about that sort of thing now? She had other things on her mind. …like clearing her schedule for her next date. …well, it wasn't quite official just yet. Jinx shook her head. She was rushing into it, eager to relieve the loneliness. …hold on a second…Jinx moved to her bookshelf. How did the books get out of order?! Who mixed her skin care book with her teleportation…book? Jinx clenched her fists.

Jinx: WHO THE HELL HAS BEEN TOUCHING MY BOOKS?!

**Main Room**

Inertia and Gizmo looked up from the TV.

Jinx's echo: …my books?!

Gizmo: …I sense a disturbance in the force…

Inertia: Please tell me this tower has a bomb shelter.

Gizmo: …yeah, this way.

**Bizarre World: Valley**

Terra's eye twitched as they continued walking. Raven was steadier now, showing no signs of dizziness. The source of the eye twitching was just in front of Terra, skipping.

Krystal: (singing) You can run, you can fly, you can reach the other side of the rainbow! Time is now; take a chance, 'cause there is no circumstance that you can't handle when you use your mind! Sonic Boom, Sonic Boom, Sonic…

Terra: SHUT UP! Stop it! Stop singing songs from Sonic the Hedgehog games!

Silence for a moment.

Raven: **…I thought they were rather catchy, actually. A little too upbeat for my tastes…**

Blackfire: And she has a great singing voice. What's your problem?

Terra: They're SONIC THE HEDGEHOG songs! She sang "Race to Win" for fifteen minutes and it's only a minute long!

Raven: **…how do you know where they're from?**

Terra paused.

Terra: …well…um…I don't play the games for the songs! …well…er…look, just shut up already!

Krystal: ...(singing) All hail Shadow!

Terra: I'll choke you good!

Krystal teleported around Terra, laughing. Blackfire grabbed her.

Blackfire: Krystal, stop it! Terra isn't a friend to antagonize! She's a psychopath!

Raven: **Poor judgment seems to run in the family.**

Blackfire: You stay out of this. I don't need your psychoanalyzing right now.

Raven: **But it's what I do! In all honesty, I have thought about becoming a psychiatrist. Alas, the point of that job is to FIX disorders, not make them.**

Terra: …um…what's got the body of a bull and the face of a pig?

Krystal: Tsk…who hasn't heard that joke before?

Terra pointed to a creature running toward them, gray smog coming from its snout.

Terra: That's not much of a joke is it?

Raven: **Damnation…it's a catoblepas!**

Blackfire: What's that?

Raven: **We have to kill it before it gets much closer! Its very breath can…oh…never mind. Terra, kill it please. It's harmless to you.**

Shrugging, Terra turned to the creature and grabbed it as it got close. It snorted on her repeatedly…until a spike of solid rock pieced its underbelly. Then the breathing stopped. The smog dissipated quickly.

Terra: Okay, what did I just kill?

Raven: **A catoblepas. Its breath can turn people to stone.**

Krystal: Oh yeah! They're in some video games I play!

Terra: Hmph…

She spat on the corpse.

Terra: Bastard…

Blackfire: What?

Terra: It tried to turn me into stone. What's with all these things? Why is it every animal here tries to kill us in some way? Krystal, blast me, I'm getting cold again.

Krystal: Righto. Hold still and say "DING" when you're ready for me to stop.

Krystal bathed her in light. Terra sighed and after five minutes grumbled.

Terra: …ding.

Krystal: Fries are done.

Terra: I knew you were going to say that!

Blackfire turned to Raven.

Blackfire: She has a point…

Raven: **…about fries being done?**

Blackfire: No, about everything here trying to kill us. My mythology may be a little rusty, but I'm sure not everything in it is lethal. What about fairies?

Raven: **The faire folk try to feed delicious food to unwary travelers, turning them into fairies themselves.**

Blackfire: …well, at least it's not lethal.

Raven: **In a sense, it is. Faire folk have short life spans. Most of the time is spent reproducing or battling the dwarves. Terra, how much further?**

Terra: Still a good few miles away.

Krystal: Let's sing a song!

Terra grabbed Krystal and covered her mouth.

Terra: No! No singing! …stop licking my hand! That's disgusting!

Blackfire: Krystal, stop it! …it's dirty!

Terra pulled her hand back and wiped it on her pants leg. Krystal spat.

Krystal: Ugh! Dirt bits!

Terra: Serves you right, ditz.

And so the walk continued.

**END PART THREE**


	5. Chapter 4

32 Productions Presents…

**32 Productions Presents…**

A HIVE Team Humor Story

**The HIVE Team In…**

"**The Philo-whosit Stone"**

**Chapter Four**

**HIVE Tower: Bomb Shelter**

The sound of repeated impacts on the door told them it wasn't safe to come out yet. Mammoth, Red X, Inertia, and Gizmo remained huddled in the corner of the room. Jinx's voice and the sound of the impacts were coming from a speaker. It wouldn't be much of a bomb shelter if she could hit it hard enough for them to hear.

Jinx: Open this door! Open it right now! I know you're all in there, I can smell your fear! I can TASTE your fear! Open this door!

Mammoth turned to Gizmo.

Mammoth: What did you do, man?!

Gizmo: It wasn't me! …I think. It was probably Inertia.

Inertia: What did I do?

Red X: Someone needs to go out there and talk to her.

Silence…well, not really. There was more pounding and yelling, but from those inside the room, there was silence.

Gizmo: Not me.

Inertia: Not me.

Mammoth: N…

Red X: Not me!

Mammoth: Damn it…

Taking a moment to write his will, Mammoth opened the door. Jinx's fist hit his chest.

Jinx: Open th…oh. Which one of you sorry bastards touched my books?! I had them all lined up in alphabetical order, and you screwed it up!

Mammoth: …that's what you're so pissed about?

Jinx: Well, that…AND YOU WENT INTO MY ROOM AND MESSED WITH SPELL BOOKS!

Inertia: Hey, how do you know it was us?

Jinx: Because you're all…in…wait. Where's Krystal and Blackfire?

It only took a second for Jinx to realize what she just said.

Jinx: KRYSTAL! I should have known! Damn it, I'm going to kill her!

Red X: What spell did she take?

Jinx: Either teleportation or my…

Trailing off, Jinx shook her head.

Jinx: It doesn't matter what she took! And I expect better from Blackfire!

Red X: …so how'd your date go?

Jinx's anger faded right away. She smiled brightly.

Jinx: Oh, I don't know if it was really a date, but it went great! He was so nice…

Gizmo: (whispering) It's that time of the month again…

Jinx: I HEARD THAT!

And just his luck, Jinx was already inside the bomb shelter.

**Bizarre World: Temple Entrance**

The four looked at the massive stone building before them. It looked kind of like a monastery…but without all the religious symbols. There WERE messages written in a foreign language though.

Krystal: Yeah, if I had the whosis-whazit stone, I'd put it in here.

Raven examined one of the carved messages, frowning.

Blackfire: Can you read it?

Raven: **This one? No. It's Scandinavian. That's all I can tell. This one…**

She moved to the next.

Raven: **This one is Navajo. And the one next to it is one I don't recognize. …ancient Greek, don't know, some Asian language…but from what I can read of the Greek and this one…which I'm fairly certain is Russian…they all say the same thing. "To Ye Without Strength, Valor, and Wisdom, this is thy Grave." …or something to that effect. I…Terra stop!**

Terra was messing with this wiggling plant that kept rubbing against her leg.

Terra: What?

Raven: **That's a Mandrake Root, you fool! If you pull that out, we'll all die!**

Terra: Uh…why?

Krystal: Mandrake's scream when uprooted, the sound of which causes instant death. If you need to pull it out, tie it to a dog and move away before calling the dog. The dog will easily uproot the plant trying to reach you and the scream will kill it, leaving you to pick up the root.

Terra: Who the hell would do that to a dog?!

Krystal shrugged, grinning.

Krystal: Cat lovers?

Blackfire: Just leave it be. So we're entering an unknown building, in an unknown dimension, filled with unknown dangers?

Raven: **That's the basic idea, yes.**

Blackfire: …Krystal?

Krystal: Yo, yo?

Blackfire: Just have Gizmo build you a pet next time.

Terra snickered.

Terra: That's why you're in this dimension? For a PET?

Krystal: Yeppers. Smart, huh?

Terra: Brilliant. Let's get this over with.

Raven: **Do let's.**

Raven didn't want to mention it, but they were running out of time. If Blackfire and Krystal knew that, they'd probably abandon them. Once time was out, they'd be sent home. The group entered the temple, the walls lined with torches. Raven stuck behind with Blackfire.

Raven: **Blackfire, can I talk to you?**

Blackfire: I doubt I could stop you.

Raven: **You could. Just use your imagination. It's what I do all the time. Then again…I'm sadistic, aren't I?**

Raven laughed to herself, shaking her head. Blackfire shuddered. Raven had a terrible laugh, one that always made chills go down the spine. It was part of the reason Raven liked to make herself laugh in battle. She couldn't force the laugh, then it wouldn't work. Fortunately, her sense of humor matched the situation more often then not.

Blackfire: What do you want?

Raven: **Such hostility. I'm merely curious as to your choice in partners.**

Blackfire: I could say the same for you.

Raven: **Fair's fair. Alright, let's see…we have similar interests for one thing. Um…he puts my comfort before his own at all times. He knows what I like and is willing to do those things for me without me even asking. All it takes to make him melt is scratching behind his ears. Hmm…what else? Those dog ears on his head are so cute…just like those fangs. I could go on, but I don't think you'd want to hear the rest. I'll just sum it up. Like an animal OUT of bed, therefore like an animal IN bed.**

Blackfire rolled her eyes.

Blackfire: I suppose that last part is to be expected of a demon-girl.

Raven: **Naturally. Now, I've sated YOUR curiosity. Sate mine.**

Blackfire: I never said I'd answer.

Raven: **True…but I know you will.**

Blackfire: …she makes me laugh. She keeps me guessing…she's beautiful in a petite sort of way…

Raven: **"Petite" isn't quite the word I'd use.**

Blackfire: I didn't fing ask you, did I?

Raven: **My, my…have I hit a sore spot? You can't deny she's rather child-like in appearance…hmm…her legs seem to be a bit more defined then a child's, I'll give her that. **

Blackfire: She's been working out lately. She wants to be noticed for something, I think.

Raven: **Yes, her muscle structure is definitely that of a teen, but the general development is that of a pre-teen. One might find that a little…**

Blackfire: I know what you're thinking and I don't care. She's not a little kid, she's a young woman and my girlfriend. Keep your thoughts to yourself on that topic.

Raven's retort was cut short by a vicious sounding bellow. The wall burst down as a huge eleven foot tall muscular man with the head and tail of a bull used its horns to break through.

Terra: Back off, creep. I'm getting that stone and you can't stop me!

Raven: **Given what he did to that wall, I doubt your stone body will be much of a challenge.**

Blackfire: I don't have time for this.

Blackfire flew at the minotaur and slammed her fist into its face. To her dismay, it simply rolled with the blow and bellowed again before striking her. It sent her into the opposite wall, making cracks appear along it.

Raven: **Seems a Tamaranian body wasn't much of a challenge either. …wait…**

Raven looked at herself. …red…cloak…uh oh. The minotaur focused on her immediately. It lowered its head and charged. Raven swooped out of the way. Hmm…this may just work the way it did in the actual fights.

Raven: **Terra, Krystal, get Blackfire and go. I can deal with this one on my own.**

Terra: Um…you sure?

Raven dodged the minotaur again. It was rather easy. It was so focused on her cloak that it couldn't think of anything else.

Raven: **Positive. Now go.**

Terra grabbed Blackfire (none too gently, but she's the villain, she's allowed to do that) and she and Krystal fled. Raven brushed her hair from her face.

Raven: **Come on then.**

The minotaur charged her and she swooped away…only to stop short. The thing that made bulls and minotaurs different was something important. Bulls don't have hands. Raven was swung and thrown down the hall, managing to right herself before impact with a wall, saving her life.

Raven: **Of all the times for me to become self sacrificing…fine.**

Raven's soul self burst free from her body as she clenched her teeth.

Raven: **I'll show you what true power really is, worthless beast!**

**Outer Chamber**

Blackfire groaned and struggled in Terra's grasp. The stone girl let her go.

Blackfire: What happened…I feel like I was hit by a truck.

Krystal: More like a bull in a toga.

Terra: Raven's dealing with it. Let's find my damn stone!

Before they could move further, a loud growl caught them off guard. A wolf the size of a truck stomped into the room, drool dripping from its maul. Terra swore.

Terra: Why is everything and its grandmother getting in my way?!

Krystal: I got the big bad wolf, just hurry up and get the stupid stone!

Krystal stuck two fingers into her mouth and whistled shrilly. As predicted, the sensitive ears of the wolf didn't like it. It lunged at her, but she teleported away, whistling again. Blackfire bit her lip, not liking this at all. Terra grabbed her arm.

Terra: Let's GO!

Blackfire: DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME! I'M NOT READY TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION YET!

Krystal: Don't plan to! WHOA! Watch the teeth, big boy!

The pair ran as Krystal continued to taunt and distract the giant wolf. It was okay…so long as she kept dodging those teeth, she'd be fine. How complex a plan could a giant wolf come up with?

**Inner Chamber**

There it was…sitting on a pedestal in the center of the room. Blackfire turned to Terra.

Blackfire: What are you waiting for? Get the stone and let's get…

Blackfire just barely managed to dodge the chunks of the floor that flew at her. Terra grinned wickedly.

Terra: Now that I've got the stone, I don't need you anymore, do I?

Blackfire: You lousy bitch…

Who was Terra kidding? She simply couldn't control herself anymore. Put in place she didn't want to be in, in a condition she didn't want to be in, and without her friends to help her stay calm, her violent tendencies couldn't be denied. Raven wasn't much help because she kept hanging back to talk to the HIVE members, trying to weasel her way into their heads. Terra was frustrated, chilly, and she was developing a headache. Blackfire had to die. You can follow her logic, right? Makes perfect sense? No? Then you're not crazy. Good on you. Blackfire dodged around the chunks of the temple Terra kept hurling at her while throwing black bolts at the stone girl. She jumped away each time. Suddenly Blackfire's eyes widened.

Blackfire: Terra, behind you!

Terra: I know I'm blonde, but I'm not stupid. Nobody would…

THUMP…THUMP…well, that was an ominous noise. Perhaps Terra should take a peek, hmm? Turning, Terra came face to face with a giant being seemingly made of ice.

Frost Giant: Thou hast disturbed mine slumber…

Terra: I don't suppose a glass of warm milk and a song will help at this point…

Terra tried to crush him with a set of wall chunks, but it was no good. It dodged the blow before inhaling deeply and blowing. An artic wind hit Terra. Her body temperature plummeted.

Terra: N…no! S…s…s…sto…stop!

She couldn't freeze to death, but she could still get VERY cold. Blackfire sighed…sometimes being the hero sucked. Logically speaking, once Terra got cold enough, her body would become brittle. Then the giant could kill her with a single blow. The bitch deserved a beating after backstabbing her that way…but not like this. Swooping down, she slammed her fist into the frost giant's face. Her hand almost immediately went numb from the cold, but it had the desired affect. With the wind stopped, the giant distracted, and her body freezing cold, Terra's desire for violence had taken a back seat. She had to get to the philosopher's stone NOW! Sinking to her knees, she began to pull herself toward it. Her entire body was numb…she could barely stand it. So…very…cold…her teeth chattered, her body felt heavier, and her legs refused to support her weight. All she could do was crawl/drag herself toward her goal.

Terra: J…just…a…a…l…little…m…more…

Stretching her arm out, her fingers brushed the glowing yellow stone on the pedestal…and then she was gone. As was Blackfire, Raven, and Krystal. The frost giant looked around in confusion before shrugging and going back into his slumber.

**Titan H.Q.: Raven's Room**

Raven let out a gasp as she was tackled. The gasp turned into laughter as Shade licked her face.

Raven: **Enough, enough! I'm glad to see you too! Stop, that tickles!**

Terra's arm was still outstretched, a look of disbelief and horror on her face.

Terra: S…so…co…cold…

Raven: **Hmm? Oh! Shade, get the lamp on her, now!**

Turning Terra's lamp onto her body, she slowly began to warm up again.

Terra: I was so close…but Blackfire delayed me!

She wasn't lying exactly. In her mind it was Blackfire's fault that she didn't reach the stone in time. Surely she couldn't be blamed for trying to kill her. It was Blackfire's fault for not dying!

Raven: **I'm sorry. We tried our best.**

Shade grunted.

Raven: **Hmm? Oh. Shade says that Changeling stopped by and said that Cyborg had created a vest for you that's self heating. You can wear it under your costume to keep yourself warm without this stupid lamp.**

Terra: …I'll go see him.

She turned to leave. Raven grabbed her arm.

Raven: **You've taken a huge step forward, Terra. Your body isn't numb anymore. This proves that your condition is capable of being worked with. Give it more time. We'll figure this out, I promise.**

Terra: …thanks, Raven. You're not so bad, I guess.

Terra left the room and Raven sat down, hissing softly. She had gotten slammed dealing with that damn minotaur. She was sure twisting its arms would take the fight out of it, but no. She was wrong. It could have been worse. She could have been gored. Shade jumped on the bed and rubbed against her arm. Raven scratched behind his ear.

Raven: **I'm fine, pet. Just a few nicks and cuts. Nothing worth being concerned over.**

Shade snorted.

Raven: **Yes, she was. We had to work together, so don't think she did this.**

If Shade had anymore to say, he lost his concentration as Raven scratched harder. He laid his head down on her leg and sighed contently. Raven smiled to herself. Having a guy this easy to please made life much easier. Some girls had to watch stupid movies, make certain foods, or attend pro wrestling when that was seriously NOT their thing. All she had to do was scratch in the right spot and he was putty in her hands. Not that he wasn't putty in her hands already…eh, whatever. Raven pushed at him.

Raven: **Alright, that's enough of that. You've been cooped up all day. It's time for some exercise.**

Shade followed Raven to the training area where she would have him exercise. He was no good to them flabby and weak and Raven was just positive that if she didn't push him, he'd sleep all day like the lazy bum she knew he was. …besides, he looked plain delicious all sweaty like that. In truth, Raven didn't need to tell him to work out, Shade wasn't the moron many assume him to be. Just because he acts like an animal, doesn't mean he's got the intellect of one. Even with Raven's unique ability to communicate with him on a two way level, while most only talk to him with no answer, she couldn't help but find herself thinking of him as less intelligent. He didn't mind it. If that was her want, then let her think it. He wasn't stupid…just very easily influenced by her. Shade was a puppet willingly handing his strings over to his puppeteer. Simple as that.

**Terra's Room**

Terra adjusted her costume, sighing as the vest began to radiate warmth all over her which began to seep inside her body. She examined herself in the mirror. The vest didn't make any visible bulges, thankfully. It was doubtful anyone would notice it. It was also very difficult to damage, so the chances of anyone piercing it in combat…or worse shutting it down…were slim. There was a knock on her door. She considered ignoring it. Her hopes dashed on the rocks again, she was tempted to actually end it all, despite Raven's reassuring words. Shaking her head, Terra turned to the door.

Terra: It's open.

She wasn't surprised to find that it was Changeling. He rubbed his arm, sighing.

Changeling: Didn't work out, huh?

Terra: I was so close…I TOUCHED it…I touched the philowhositwhazit stone, Gar. …and I couldn't…

She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

Terra: I'm so sorry, Gar…I'm so, so sorry…

Changeling looked confused, and reasonably so. He couldn't think of a single thing she could have to apologize for. He shrugged.

Changeling: What for?

Terra: For being a freak…for being…unlovable.

Changeling: Who the hell…did Raven tell you that? I'll kill her if she did…

Terra: No, she didn't…but it's true. Look at me…I'm a total freak. I mean, you're green, big deal…at least your skin is soft.

Seeing where this was heading, Changeling embraced Terra in a tight hug.

Changeling: Terra, you mean more to me then you can probably imagine. Besides…you're not so rough now, are you?

Terra: Gar…

Changeling: We'll work through this…we always do.

She kissed him. It was good to be able to feel his lips again, though it wasn't as enjoyable as it had been when her lips were…well…more lip-like. They slowly pulled their lips apart. He smiled and chuckled.

Terra: What?

Changeling: Your hair is in a different position then when you were stone before.

Terra: …I love you, Garfield.

Changeling: I love you too…but don't call me that. Makes me think I'm a large orange cat with a love for pasta.

She didn't laugh. Hmm…time for plan B.

Changeling: …wanna set an old folks home on fire and watch them slowly hobble out all ablaze?

Sighing, Terra nodded.

Terra: Uh huh.

Changeling: You going to smile if we do?

Terra: …probably.

Changeling: Okay, let's go set an old folks home on fire.

WARNING: I do not condone the setting ablaze of old folks homes and/or the elderly. Thank you for your time.

**HIVE Tower: Main Room**

Krystal and Blackfire stood in front of Red X and Jinx. Jinx's eye was twitching and Red X was pacing back and forth, shaking her head. Ashamed of herself, Blackfire had her head hanging. Krystal, however, was still smiling and meeting the gazes of those talking to her.

Red X: …messing with her spell books. What in the hell is wrong with you two? What were you thinking?

Krystal: That we could get a pet that was neither from this planet nor any other by traveling to alternate dimensions.

Red X: Is this true, Blackfire?

Blackfire: (quietly) …yes.

Jinx poked Krystal in the nose.

Jinx: And for that you messed up the order of my books?!

Krystal: What? No! I did that because it was funny.

Blackfire: You put her books back wrong?!

Krystal: It. Was. FUNNY! Besides, she deserves it for not sharing her secret of perfect skin.

Jinx: I had acne! I had every right to…

Jinx trailed off as she realized what she just admitted.

Krystal: Anyway, the joke was on us anyhow. We had to fight off minotaurs, and harpies, and brood horses…

Blackfire: Brook horses…and it was only the one…and we didn't really FIGHT it, per say.

Krystal: Details, details. The point is, we paid for being stupid and we're very sorry.

Red X sighed and held up a finger.

Red X: One pet. That's it.

Krystal: YES! I want a kitty!

She hugged Red X tight. Red X sighed again. If it would prevent Krystal from doing something like that again, so be it.

Jinx: Wait, that's what t his is about? A pet? …that's a great idea! Can I help pick it out?

Krystal: HA! I knew you'd be into it! Sure, let's go! Coming, Blackfire?

The pair left to purchase a pet. Blackfire pouted.

Blackfire: A cat? I wanted a dog…

**END**


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